The Money Talk for Couples
posted on Feb 1, 2019 | 171 likes
How to get started
Studies by Psychologists shows that many people will talk about anything and almost everything before they talk about their finances. One may wonder why it is very difficult for some people to talk about their finances with their spouse, perhaps because money symbolizes different things to different people and therefore do not feel comfortable or confident enough to talk about their finances.
Whatever the case might be, it is very important to have the money talk with your spouse and it would be easier if you get it started with the following tips below;
Find a Neutral Time
Don’t wait until there is a money issue before you start talking about your finances. This would only heat up the pressure and would not resolve anything. The neural time would be a time where you are both calm, well rested from work or your daily activities, and when there is no particular money issue at hand. This way you and your spouse would be open and objective because there is no money pressure anywhere.
Give a Little to Get a Little
Talking about your money with your souse is like talking about how you feel emotionally. You have to be open and honest when you want to start the conversation. For instance, if you want to initiate the topic, rather than just starting off by saying, ‘Let’s talk about money’, you can start off by telling your spouse about your own feelings and experience with money. That way, you would encourage your partner to do the same. If your relationship is the first priority, you'll both have to be willing to negotiate. Share your feelings, experiences, and hopes about money. Discuss how you have dealt with money problems in the past, what money was to you when you were growing up, and how you dealt with money issues in past relationships.
Know Where You Stand
Be honest with yourself and to your partner on how you feel about a financial situation. If you do not like how your partner spends money, especially the one you save together, be honest about how it bothers you and let your partner know about it. If you are more financially literate compared to your partner and you feel it's the right time to go further with your finances like starting an investment plan rather than just saving it, ensure you communicate this with your partner.
Remember that different financial situations would come up from time to time in your relationship, and when they do, you should be able to agree to disagree while coming up with suggestions on how to solve the issue at hand, most especially in a case where one partner has a bad spending habit that bothers and affects the other partner negatively.
Seek help together
The truth is, you might not be able to avoid unforeseen situations that would make you spend more money than you have budgeted for. When this happens, seek help from a financial institution together. If you have to get a loan, talk about how you would be able to repay with ease so there would be no pressure on just one person to repay the loan that was used by both of you. For instance, if you had to take a loan to buy your house, work out a plan where you both contribute to repaying it monthly or where one person does the monthly repayment, the other partner should assist with the other bills such as light, groceries, etc.